THIRD, ACKNOWLEDGE what others are telling you.
Recognize that PROBLEM, REMEDY, OUTCOME (PRO) serve as filters and frames for attention.
You want people to focus on OUTCOMES.
This does not mean, however, that you simply dismiss or gloss over people’s problems.
No. The last thing you want to do is to skip to the end of the process.
Everybody wants to feel that you listened to them. Especially if you asked a question. You started the conversation after all.
ACKNOWLEDGE what you just heard.
The onus is on you to acknowledge what the other person said. By doing so, you validate them at a deep level.
And there’s the beginning of your buy-in and engagement in any change journey.
Acknowledging is saying “I got you.”
It is saying, I am listening. You can trust me. It is that unconscious gateway that allows the other to further open up and for you to continue the conversation.
Why would I trust you to create change in my life, in my work, in my relationships, in the way I do things?
And how do you acknowledge?
Use their words. No interpretation. No assumptions.
This is why you need to be able to listen and pay attention carefully — back to steps one and two, remember?
How would you be able to acknowledge if you failed to listen?
Be as accurate and precise as you can. Be in their world. Model their thought process. Get into their minds.
The shortest route to that is simply speak their language.
Use their words. I can’t emphasise that enough.
This is how you cultivate trust.
Earn your right to ask more. Acknowledge first.
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