Stories: Why Some People Change and Others Don’t

“Stories not only move us, they motivate us because we can see in them echoes of possibility for ourselves. Our need for them reflects the very nature of perceptual experience, and storytelling is embedded in the brain itself.”

– Peter Guber

Stories inspired revolutions throughout history. A simple story can create a massive change. On the other hand, stories we unsconsciouly live by, bind us. That is why some people change and others don’t.

You see, people have stories in their heads. These stories are sometimes passed on from one generation to another. They are so deeply ingrained that sometimes we often forget we live our lives as if these stories are true for us, in our time.

Once upon a time these stories were true. These stories tell us about the heroes who saved the day. These stories tell us about how our forefathers, our ancestors built something from nothing. Stories of rags to riches abound. There’s no shortage of stories of heroic deeds, of loyalty, of betrayal, of tragedy and redemption.

Some stories are good, some stories are bad.

Some people live a story of drama. When things are going well, they’d say just you wait, something bad, real bad is going to happen. That is what their script says. Finally the global financial crisis erupted and these people say “I told you so.” When I was a small girl, when I’m so happy and laughing a lot, my nanny would say “Don’t be too happy and don’t laugh too much, something bad is bound to happen if you do.” Fortunately, I have rebellious tendencies and can be very protective of my own happiness.

There are those who live a feel-good story, the kind of story that always has a happy ending. Some live a script where they strike gold in the most unlikely situations. Some live the Midas touch. So when the financial crisis erupted, they took the opportunity to buy shares at very low prices, to buy foreclosed properties, liquidated businesses on sale, and so on. These people say “Finally!”, an opportunity. We call them lucky.

Perception is reality, reality perception. We humans walk around with stories in our head. We have an ongoing script that creates the patterns in our lives.

We have bought into so many stories we’re not even aware of. The story of creation, the story of the great flood and survival, the story of punishment and redemption from Christ to Monte Cristo, the story of pride and prejudice, and tale of two cities with opposing opportunities, stories of insurreccion, revolution, freedom, stories of forgiveness and compassion. Our truth is dictated by these scripts. They become our reality.

We either live the stories we create or we are created by the stories we live.

Once we start observing what stories we pay attention to, what stories we buy into, what scripts we live by, we can then choose to let them go. When we let go of old stories, we change. When we stop buying stories from others, we free ourselves to create our own. We can also create stories to inspire change in others.

If you want to create change, create a compelling story. It draws attention. It calls people to action. It has emotional connection. Before we know it, the story takes its own life. People start living by it. Reality is then transformed.

So what’s your story?